SAHM vs FTWM: The Past 7 Months vs Now

For the past 7months, I beg to have extra 10minutes of me-time. Now I beg to have an extra 10minutes with my kids.

For the past 7 months, I kept asking Little Pistachio to lower down her voice. To stop singing because it is waking up the little sister. Now, I wish she would have sang a little longer, a little louder. I have not heard her singing for three days.

For the past 7 months, I wish someone could lend me a hand to hold Little Sister for a while, while I get a break. Now I wish I could hold her throughout the day and night myself.

For the past 7 months, I wish Little Pistachio and Little Sister will sleep a littler earlier so that I can retire to bed earlier. Now I wish they will sleep a little later so that I have more time to spend with them.

For the past 7 months, I wish xuan will be able to sleep on her own. Now I wish she still needs me to fall asleep.

For the past 7 months, I wish xuan would not scream and constantly chattering before bed. Now I wish she would scream and constantly chattering before bed.

For the past 7 months, both of you grew right before my eyes. I cherish every single moment we shared. I cherish the happy laughters. The happy moments. The silly moments. The frustrating moments. The mischievious moments. The jealous moments.

Now, I have not heard your laughter for three days. I have not heard of your silly stories. I have not seen your silly antics. I have not held you in my arms for longer than 3minutes. I have not truly seen your face; watch the twinkle in your eyes as you excitedly described what you just saw at the corner of the house, in the garden, at the park; watch the changes of emotion in your face, from the serious, to the questioning, to the curious, to the determined, to the funny, to the silly, the naughty, the mischievious, and most importantly, the happy look on your beautiful face.

I miss them. I truly do. These enjoyment, can only be felt by being physically, mentally and emotionally there with them. These enjoyment, are so priceless that no amount of money can buy. These enjoyment, can never be replaced. These feelings, are the true happiness.

And I would like to say, I am glad to be by your side all the way through for the past 7 months. I am glad. Truly glad.

Now I wish I can be there for you. Now and always.

One day. One day, I will be watching all of you grow right before my eyes. And I hope the day will be soon.

MommyLove, Jen

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