endearingmoments

“Mealtimes. Children wanted their parents undivided attention at mealtimes and it was hurtful not to get it.”

The reasons behind the changes in behaviour recently – this article nailed it.

Past three days, big sister has been refusing solids for breakfast, only drinks milk, have cakes at school tea break (3 days in a row! due to classmate’s birthday), came home refuse lunch, 2-3pm scamper for food- junks from party packs from the birthday girl (lollipops, sweets, chocolate, mamee monster, jelly etc) as lunch time is over, then refuse dinner. Then, vomitted after dinner and during bedtime. Meal times is a constant battle.

Little did i know, these are the signs of hurt she is feeling inside.

Recently, I couldnt give her that attention she needed during lunch, as i only have 5 to a max of 10minutes to eat everyday. Or i will be late for my lunch call. My aim is only to push all the food down my throat without chocking myself and get out of the house as soon as possible.

I couldnt give her the attention she needed during dinner as the little sister needs to be fed. Since she is the big sister, she has been asked to eat on her own.

Today, at dinner, the mystery was solved, after i gave her the attention she wanted to have.

I let the little sister eat on her own, at the expense of messier floor and dining table, soup over poured onto the body etc food flying around every corner of the dining hall.

I gave my elder girl the undivided attention (at least 80% ok, the other 20% need to watch out my younger one and continue feeding her to ensure sufficient food enters her stomach) that she has been longing for.

As i look into her eyes, and stroked her head, i told her, i know what you need. I know, how you feel. I know, you want mummy. You want mummy’s attention.

There, with a pair of sad looking eyes, she looked at me, started to open up and told me, mummy, i want you to accompany me eat, watch me eat, be with me at my mealtimes. I want mummy to nap long long with me. I don’t want mummy to go to work. Mummy, dont go to work. Be with me.

A plea that sounds familiar?

Truth is, i was there all her three meals, but all in a haste. Every ticking second is a threat to my sanity to get things done and out on schedule on the dot. Running on every unforgiving seconds.

She can even tell me, yes mummy i know, i know you need to go to work, u need to earn money. Still with a sad disappointed look, i stroked her hair, and said yes dear, to put food on table, to let you go to school to play with your friends. You love going to school, right? With her eyes looking directly at mine, she obidently swallowed her porridge.

One after another.

With some fun antics in between, and funky requests and faces, she finishes her bowl of porridge without much fuss.

The little sister finishes just about the same time and off they go, happily with a contented heart.

Just probably, a messier table, floor and chair.
But, that doesnt matter.

The undivided attention, the loving tender strokes, the gentle way to get them eat their meals, and leaving the table happy and satisfies, are all that matters.

I know, one day, she will be grow, have her own friends, boyfriends, then family and doesnt need to depend on me anymore.

Thank you girl, for needing mama. As much as i need you. Love you girl.

Goh Sook Keen
#gohruixuan
#3years3months21days

MummyLove, Jen

It is a bright Monday morning and big sis is already awake while the little sister is just about to make a turn and suddenly woken up. Little sister began to whimper.

妹妹你不要哭，姐姐在这里。(Little sis, don’t cry, big sis is here.)

萱proceeds to hug her little sister.

Little sister’s face lit up and smile, ever so sweetly.

_____________

In the loo.

Big sis and lil sis was put side by side while mummy got busy washing bottles and pumps.

After a few minutes, lil sis began to whimper.

妹妹， 姐姐在这里。 你不要哭。

She then extends her arm and held lil sis’s hand.

It just melts my heart.

Blessed lil sis to have such a caring big sis.

_____________

Mummy in the process of putting lil sis to sleep. It is 7pm. Afterall, lil sis last woke up time was 3.30pm. She was up for 3 1/2 hours. She must be tired by now.

Big sis playing on her own. After a while, she said:

X: 妈妈放妹妹下来。妈妈和萱玩。 然后采放妹妹睡觉。

M: 妈妈需要放妹妹睡觉。你玩多一下。妹妹睡了， 妈妈和你玩。

Obediently, she continued to play crawling-through-the-cloth-tunnel game in silence.

Soon, she got bored and walked over to the window and told me she wanted to watch the sunset.

X: 阿萱要看太阳下山。

She was about to draw the curtains to watch the sunset, at the same time letting the evening light shines through, distracting the lil sis from her half asleep status.

M: 等下。等妈妈放妹妹睡觉了和你看月亮和星星。

X: 阿萱要现在， 妈妈放妹妹下来。

M: 萱要有耐心。有耐心才会成功。

My poor lil girl retracted from drawing the curtains and sat next to me, waiting.

Oh mama heart.

My girl is so considerate!

Soon, little sis is asleep. I lay down with her perpendicularly next to me. I thought she was going to sleep since it was all quiet and still. Suddenly she blurted.

X: 妈妈…

M: 什么呀

X: 妈妈你看， love shape.

She was making the love shape using her fingers.

Aww… My dear girl. You are the love of my heart.

M: 妈妈 sayang 萱。

She then slowly crawls up to the window to watch the sky.

I thought she had forgotten about it. Apparently, not!

As she watched the dark skies and litted lanterns from neighbour’s house and streetlights, she blurted.

X: 刚才亮亮的。真么现在黑黑了? 你看，月亮星星出来了。

M: 太阳回家睡觉了。月亮星星出来和我们说，goodnight.

X: 月亮星星陪我们睡觉。

Satisfied, she drew the curtains and trotted back to her sleeping position, holding my finger.

Softly, ever so politely and gently, she whispered:

妈妈我要妈妈nen nen.

She misses her latching moments.

I let her latch for a while and off she went back and fell asleep on her own.

One day, i will be the one missing our latching moments.

____________________

Today is the first time i am giving prawn to lil sister.

It is her Day 300!

Exactly 10 months counting by days.

During her first tasting. She was just curious.

She loves her prawn+vege porridge, semi pureed.

During the first sip, her eyes litted up and glow, smiling and asking for more.

A second slower triggers a loud call from her. To buy some time for me to cool down her freshly prepared porridge, i gave her whole prawns. Despite jus having only two cute rabbitt teeth, she managed to gwan them down. Salute for her determination.

The bright eyes that glows upon gwaning at the freshly blanched soft white prawns, followed by a ultra sweet smile and grins that reveals the two cute front teeth, is priceless.

The joy and happiness watching them enjoy your food, discovering new tastes, smiling and being happy, is just priceless.

When i shut my eyes as im tandem nursing both to sleep, their smiles crept in. It makes me smile too.

This is what i call, 幸福。My better half calls it 福，是天伦之乐。

Simple joys, that makes my heart full. It makes their heart full too. Full, with love.

_________________

Every morning and evening, without fail i will bring them out for a stroll in the park.

Before starting the ride, we would pluck some mulberries from our daddy’s tree for a munch!

Big sis has mastered her cycling skills by now. Thanks to her maternal grandparents for giving her a bicycle in April. Now, cycling is her favourite activity.

Big sis will be riding her bike, while lil sis sits in her stroller. Thanks to their 舅舅和舅母, the stroller has been part of our daily strolls.

The grass in the nearby park is rather long at this point of time. For the sake of quality playtime, for the sake of keeping promises (i promised xuan to bring her to the park should she finishes her breakfast quickly), for the sake of not having to stroll another 400metres to and fro to another park in another garden, we braced through the long and spiky grasses, and uneven muddy grounds.

Difficult yet it pays off to watch their faces glow with joy as they slide down the slopes and swing through the air.

Yesterday was the first time lil sister played the swings and slides. Boy, her face was so brightly litted, so happy and joyful!

Love of my life, from MommyJen❤

Be grateful.

For the things that went right.

For the things that went wrong.

For the things that is in our likings.

For the things that is not within ohr likings.

Be grateful.

For we do not know how it would be, otherwise.

It could be better.

It could also be worse.
一山还比一山高. One mountain is higher than the other.

For if you think you are good, there is always somebody else who is better.

One trough is deeper than the other.

For if you think you are suffering, there is always somebody else who is worse.

We cannot have all the best things in life but we can make the best out of everything.

MommyLove, Jen

Slow Down, Mummy.

This is not a race to see who finishes faster.

It is a journey, meant to be enjoyed, and savoured every single second of it.

It is a journey to cherish how beautiful life is.

It is a journey to watch how a little human being uncurled from the day he/she was born to the day he/she can see, kick, sit, crawl, stand, walk, run, jump, skip, spin, somersault.

It is a journey to feel the their touch grasp, hold, tug, grab, snatch (when they are older), give, and take.

It is a journey to hear them breathe, blow rapsberries, gurgle, talk one consonant, two consonants, one word, two words, three words, a sentence, a paragraph, hum a song, sing a song, shout, scream and scold (when they are older), praise and love.

It is a journey to be with them as they explore the wide wide world, built their confidence and esteem to experience the amazing mother nature and life.

It is a journey to learn how to let go and prioritise to touch another soul, another human being, another life, all before it is too late.

It is a beautiful journey.

Stop.

Stop to smell the fragrance of the flower.

Stop to examine the grains in the leaves.

Stop to watch the little ants carry their food home.

Stop to watch the bees nectaring.

Stop to watch the butterflies wings flap.

Stop to listen to the birds hum.

Stop to feel the wind caress our face.

Stop to feel the sweat trickle down your forehead.

Stop to feel the tiny hands reach out for your nose.

Stop to feel the heartbeat skip a beat.

Stop to smile.

Smile.

A smile for the memorable past. The foundation you have stepped on to be who you are today.

A smile to be able to breathe now. Now that you have the power to be in control, to create better memories.

A smile for a better future which is yet to come. A future to look foward to.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. – Helen Keller.

Slow down.

We are all living at our own pace.

MommyLove, Jen

For the past 7months, I beg to have extra 10minutes of me-time. Now I beg to have an extra 10minutes with my kids.

For the past 7 months, I kept asking Little Pistachio to lower down her voice. To stop singing because it is waking up the little sister. Now, I wish she would have sang a little longer, a little louder. I have not heard her singing for three days.

For the past 7 months, I wish someone could lend me a hand to hold Little Sister for a while, while I get a break. Now I wish I could hold her throughout the day and night myself.

For the past 7 months, I wish Little Pistachio and Little Sister will sleep a littler earlier so that I can retire to bed earlier. Now I wish they will sleep a little later so that I have more time to spend with them.

For the past 7 months, I wish xuan will be able to sleep on her own. Now I wish she still needs me to fall asleep.

For the past 7 months, I wish xuan would not scream and constantly chattering before bed. Now I wish she would scream and constantly chattering before bed.

For the past 7 months, both of you grew right before my eyes. I cherish every single moment we shared. I cherish the happy laughters. The happy moments. The silly moments. The frustrating moments. The mischievious moments. The jealous moments.

Now, I have not heard your laughter for three days. I have not heard of your silly stories. I have not seen your silly antics. I have not held you in my arms for longer than 3minutes. I have not truly seen your face; watch the twinkle in your eyes as you excitedly described what you just saw at the corner of the house, in the garden, at the park; watch the changes of emotion in your face, from the serious, to the questioning, to the curious, to the determined, to the funny, to the silly, the naughty, the mischievious, and most importantly, the happy look on your beautiful face.

I miss them. I truly do. These enjoyment, can only be felt by being physically, mentally and emotionally there with them. These enjoyment, are so priceless that no amount of money can buy. These enjoyment, can never be replaced. These feelings, are the true happiness.

And I would like to say, I am glad to be by your side all the way through for the past 7 months. I am glad. Truly glad.

Now I wish I can be there for you. Now and always.

One day. One day, I will be watching all of you grow right before my eyes. And I hope the day will be soon.

MommyLove, Jen

It was teatime yesterday. 

M: Do you want diamond or choco biscuit?

X: Choco

Mummy went to get TimTam from the freezer and handed her a piece.

X took a bite and said good. 

After the third bite, she transferred the biscuit from one hand to another.l

X: 肮脏 (dirty). 很肮脏。

She started looking for something to wipe her hands and i quickly grabbed a piece of wet tissue for her. 

After wiping, she transferred her biscuit to another hand again. And again, her little fingers were stained with the chocolate. 

Very soon she realised the stain came from her biscuit and she started wiping her Tim Tam. 😅

#gohruixuan #2years3months26days 

Come dear, it is nap time. 

No signs of budging. Still screaming away. Still singing away. And the constant chatter is terrifying when you are trying hard to put the younger one to sleep.

Do you want to nap?

No

Arent you tired?

No.

These conversation happens every other day since 8months ago. Soon it becomes two days no naps, one day nap. Then, three days no naps, one day nap. Last week, the final week of the year 2017 was the final straw – four days no naps, one day nap 30minutes and one day 1.5hour nap.

Napping time is a constant battle eversince the arrival of the little sister. 

A nightmare to me.

Perhaps it is time for her to go without naps. I did some research and found out that she is indeed showing signs that she is done having day naps. 

So new year’s resolution: 

No naptime. 

We shall see how it goes.
MommyLove, Jen

Happy 2018!

On the first day of 2018 we have Little Pistachio telling mummy that she wants to sleep on her own, in her own bed!

How awesome is that?

It is not the first time. Yet, it is good to have her own initiative to start sleeping on her own and yes, covering her own blanket! 
MommyLove, Jen

P.s Little Pistachio 2 years 3months 4 days.

One more time, one more time, one more time, please.

Daddy, cover me with blanket please.

Just one more time.

Daddy, come and draw a picture with me.

One more time please.

Stalling, a tactic used by toddler to make you stay longer, play longer. Even if it is just one moment longer.

It is bedtime. Little sister has already dozed off at 7.10pm. Mummy and daddy is obviously exhausted after a long day. Little pistachio is more than excited to see daddy after the whole week of absence. 

Daddy, rock a bye baby please?

Just one last time, will you?

But it never ends. Repeated over and over again for more than twenty times and still no sign of stopping. 

Patience at test.

Scold her if it deemed fit, ya. 

We have agreed on gentle parenting. We try our best not to scold or raise voice to teach a child. Afterall, she was over excited because she has not seen her daddy for a week! It is legit that she is behaving the way she behaves. She misses him. 

What would she feel if she has been waiting patiently for five days for her daddy to return, only to be scolded for showing her glee to meet him?

What scar will it leave in her inner soul? Will she still look forward to his return in the future?

Daddy maintained his composure.

Mummy was figuring a way to save the situation, without hurting the emotions of both parties. 

Suddenly, mummy broke the vicious cycle.

Little Pistachio, i know you are very happy and excited about daddy’s return and obviously you still want to continue playing. However, daddy and mummy is very tired and exhausted already after our long day. Little sister is already sleeping too. Why don’t you continue playing while mummy daddy retires to bed? When you are ready, you can come over to join us ya. Good night darling. Love you baby.

Daddy and mummy lies down to sleep. 

Little Pistachio continues to play for a while. In less than a minute, she came running over to mummy and latches. She dozed off in less than a minute

Yup, in two minutes, she arrived at dreamland, after stalling for more than an hour.

No raising of voices. No scolding. Just calm and peaceful night, with no emotional rollercoaster.

Good nights, darling. Sleep well and grow well. Mummy is proud of you.

MommyLove, Jen

Little Pistachio turns 2y3m today.

You are mummy’s sunshine. You are my little pistahcio. Everything u do gives a spark of joy. Every new things you learn brings me joy. Mummy smiles and praises you each time you achieve or learnt something new.

You must be wondering, 

“Why mummy, arent you happy with what I can do now? “

“Why do you keep asking me to keep quiet?” 

“See mummy, i can sing jingle bells now!”

“Shh…”

“Mummy look, i did this!” while carrying two trains of lego, dashing into the room where baby is asleep.

“Shh!”

“Mummy i want nen nen.”

“After mei mei ok?”

Whats makes the difference now?

Mummy has less attention to you. You felt the lack of attention and started destroying / throwing things to attract attention. Yup, mummy knows. You want mummy to give you more individualised attention. You want mummy to acknowledge your efforts.

“Yes dear daughter, mummy is very proud of you. It is just that, baby is asleep. If you talk loudly, baby will be awake.” (ingredient to sibling rivalry)

As much as i wanted to raise my voice and scold her to keep back the puzzle pieces she threw everywhere and smashing the train lego she has proudly made to show me, no, i did not. 

I have no grounds to raise my voice. Afterall, it is us, adults, who have changed. Mummy is constantly lack of sleep, under pressure of ensuring newborn has enough – milk, sleep, stimulation, play etc. Not her. She is still her bubbly-ever-chatty-enthusiastic-intriguing-happy child.
I am glad i managed to control my temper and not raise my voice. I am glad i managed to go down to her level, talk nicely with a caring and loving voice on dealing with her throwing her puzzles on the floor.

I am glad she accepted my way of dealing with her and obediently picks up the pieces and we spent sometime doing the puzzle. I taught her how to put the puzzle back in an appropriate place after she has done using it. She is satisfied. Mummy is satisfied too. 

Hopes 2018 will be granted with more patience, love and joy. 

Happy 2years and 3months dear.
MommyLove, Jen.