Toddler at two: Stalling

One more time, one more time, one more time, please.

Daddy, cover me with blanket please.

Just one more time.

Daddy, come and draw a picture with me.

One more time please.

Stalling, a tactic used by toddler to make you stay longer, play longer. Even if it is just one moment longer.

It is bedtime. Little sister has already dozed off at 7.10pm. Mummy and daddy is obviously exhausted after a long day. Little pistachio is more than excited to see daddy after the whole week of absence. 

Daddy, rock a bye baby please?

Just one last time, will you?

But it never ends. Repeated over and over again for more than twenty times and still no sign of stopping. 

Patience at test.

Scold her if it deemed fit, ya. 

We have agreed on gentle parenting. We try our best not to scold or raise voice to teach a child. Afterall, she was over excited because she has not seen her daddy for a week! It is legit that she is behaving the way she behaves. She misses him. 

What would she feel if she has been waiting patiently for five days for her daddy to return, only to be scolded for showing her glee to meet him?

What scar will it leave in her inner soul? Will she still look forward to his return in the future?

Daddy maintained his composure.

Mummy was figuring a way to save the situation, without hurting the emotions of both parties. 

Suddenly, mummy broke the vicious cycle.

Little Pistachio, i know you are very happy and excited about daddy’s return and obviously you still want to continue playing. However, daddy and mummy is very tired and exhausted already after our long day. Little sister is already sleeping too. Why don’t you continue playing while mummy daddy retires to bed? When you are ready, you can come over to join us ya. Good night darling. Love you baby.

Daddy and mummy lies down to sleep. 

Little Pistachio continues to play for a while. In less than a minute, she came running over to mummy and latches. She dozed off in less than a minute

Yup, in two minutes, she arrived at dreamland, after stalling for more than an hour.

No raising of voices. No scolding. Just calm and peaceful night, with no emotional rollercoaster.

Good nights, darling. Sleep well and grow well. Mummy is proud of you.

MommyLove, Jen

Perks of motherhood #2: Attention seeking behaviour, patience, guilt and dealing with two year olds.

Little Pistachio turns 2y3m today.

You are mummy’s sunshine. You are my little pistahcio. Everything u do gives a spark of joy. Every new things you learn brings me joy. Mummy smiles and praises you each time you achieve or learnt something new.

You must be wondering, 

“Why mummy, arent you happy with what I can do now? “

“Why do you keep asking me to keep quiet?” 

“See mummy, i can sing jingle bells now!”

“Shh…”

“Mummy look, i did this!” while carrying two trains of lego, dashing into the room where baby is asleep.

“Shh!”

“Mummy i want nen nen.”

“After mei mei ok?”



Whats makes the difference now?

Mummy has less attention to you. You felt the lack of attention and started destroying / throwing things to attract attention. Yup, mummy knows. You want mummy to give you more individualised attention. You want mummy to acknowledge your efforts.

“Yes dear daughter, mummy is very proud of you. It is just that, baby is asleep. If you talk loudly, baby will be awake.” (ingredient to sibling rivalry)

As much as i wanted to raise my voice and scold her to keep back the puzzle pieces she threw everywhere and smashing the train lego she has proudly made to show me, no, i did not. 

I have no grounds to raise my voice. Afterall, it is us, adults, who have changed. Mummy is constantly lack of sleep, under pressure of ensuring newborn has enough – milk, sleep, stimulation, play etc. Not her. She is still her bubbly-ever-chatty-enthusiastic-intriguing-happy child.
I am glad i managed to control my temper and not raise my voice. I am glad i managed to go down to her level, talk nicely with a caring and loving voice on dealing with her throwing her puzzles on the floor.

I am glad she accepted my way of dealing with her and obediently picks up the pieces and we spent sometime doing the puzzle. I taught her how to put the puzzle back in an appropriate place after she has done using it. She is satisfied. Mummy is satisfied too. 

Hopes 2018 will be granted with more patience, love and joy. 

Happy 2years and 3months dear.
MommyLove, Jen.

Life Lessons #1: Right and WronG

At noon, before lunch, i was chatting with Little Pistachio.

Did you play with gor gor? 

Nodded quietly.

What did gor gor play with you?

Gor gor played messily (乱乱玩)

Did you play with jie jie?

Nodded quietly.

What did jie jie play with you?

Jie jie played messily. (乱乱玩)。Jie jie pushed me (推我)。 Jie jie snatched the toys i was playing (抢我玩具)

Looking sad, she sat on a child-sized rattan chair and played with her lego-made-fan she built earlier. 

These were the words uttered by a 2years 2months 21days child.

Little Pistachio, was obviously being bullied by the 8years old gor gor and her 6years old jie jie.

In the evening, daddy was home.

As usual, the big gor gor jie jie was playing rough. Jie jie was hopping around like a frog. Gor gor was smashing down the jenga tiles over and over again.

Little Pistachio, stood there, stared at them, then looked at daddy. 

Daddy shook his head.

Dear girl, you don’t play rough like them. That is not right. 

Little Pistachio, still quietly looking, said gor gor jie jie luan luan wan.

Old Granpa, who was sitting there resting, stood up and started scolding the gor gor jie jie when the noise went up to an unbearable decibles.

Stop it! That is not how you play! 

Dear girl, see how granpa is scolding them?

That is not the way to play. We don’t throw and smash things. We don’t jump and hop around aimlessly.

Little Pistachio walked away, still uttering luan luan wan.

Even a 2 year old knows what is right and what is wrong, who to mix with and who not to mix with.

Mommy will be less worried to let you attend kindy soon.

I am proud of you, dear girl.

MommyLove, Jen

Success Story #1: Staying dry throughout the day.

2years 2months 21days.

Little Pistachio has successfully remain dry for the day. 

Yeap. 

Two days ago, she said she wants to pee. She went into the bathroom on her own, and came out after a minute.

Her pants were off. But the drypantz was still intact.

Obviously she has been trying to take off her diaper pants but failed miserably because it was too tight! 

Yes, we ran out of size. XXL is the biggest size available in the market. 

Yes, mummy has been searching high and low to get a bigger size for you, my dear. Sorry for keeping you so uncomfortable and tight in those undersized drypantz.

I took off her heavily wet diaper pants and she ran to her pee pot. 

After she was done, I asked “Little Pistachio, do you still want to wear the diaper drypantz or would you prefer a plain undies?” while showing her each of the options.

She pointed at the plain undies. 

“So you promise to use the pee pot to pee ok? No more wet pants ya. You already know how to take off your pants. Now you can learn to be dry by day. Clever girl” 

And so, today is her third day of N number of cycles of training – She started refusing diaper since 9months. Diaper poo free since then.

I hope this round will be successful. 

MommyLove, Jen

Reflection #1: Self reliasation

Regardless how poorly people treat us there is no reason to hold grudge and return them with hatred. It always require wisdom to be the bigger person and forgive them no matter what they did or did not do. 

I believe for every difficulty or challenges that happen in our lives, takes place for a good reason. It gives us a chance for us to fine tune our defilements and reflect to improve ourselves. 

Reflection of the Dhamapada

Verse 1. Suffering Follows The Evil-Doer

Mind precedes all knowables,
mind’s their chief, mind-made are they.
If with a corrupted mind
one should either speak or act
dukkha follows caused by that,
as does the wheel the ox’s hoof.

Explanation: All that we experience begins with thought. Our words and deeds spring from thought. If we speak or act with evil thoughts, unpleasant circumstances and experiences inevitably result. Wherever we go, we create bad circumstances because we carry bad thoughts. This is very much like the wheel of a cart following the hoofs of the ox yoked to the cart. The cart-wheel, along with the heavy load of the cart, keeps following the draught oxen. The animal is bound to this heavy load and cannot leave it.

Verse 2. Happiness Follows The Doer of Good

Mind precedes all knowables,
mind’s their chief, mind-made are they.
If with a clear, and confident mind
one should speak and act 
as one’s shadow ne’er departing.

Explanation: All that man experiences springs out of his thoughts. If his thoughts are good, the words and the deeds will also be good. The result of good thoughts , words and deeds will be happiness. This happiness will never leave the person whose thoughts are good. Happiness will always follow him like his shadow that never leaves him.

Verse 3. Uncontrolled Hatred Leads to Harm

Who bears within them enmity:
“He has abused and beaten me,
defeated me and plundered me”,
hate is not allayed for them.

Explanation: When a person holds that he was insulted, assaulted, defeated, or robbed, his anger continues to increase. The anger such a person has no way of subsiding. The more he goes over his imaginary trouble the greater becomes his desire to avenge it.


Verse 4. Overcoming Anger

Who bears within no enmity:
“He has abused and beaten me,
defeated me and plundered me”,
hate is quite allayed for them.

Explanation:  Living in human society, people often quarrel with one another. When such conflicts occur, people often keep thinking about the wrongs done to them by others. When that happens, their anger tends to grow. But in those who forgive and forget the wrongs done to them, anger quickly vanishes. They are then at peace.


Verse 5. Hatred is Overcome Only by Non-hatred

Never here by enmity
are those with enmity allayed,
they are allayed by amity,
this is the timeless Truth.

Explanation: Those who attempt to conquer hatred by hatred are like warriors who take weapons to overcome others who bear arms. This does not end hatred, but gives it room to grow. But, ancient wisdom has advocated a different timeless strategy to overcome hatred. This eternal wisdom is to meet hatred with non-hatred. The method is of overcoming hatred through non-hatred is eternally effective. That is why that method is described as eternal wisdom.

Encountering such people should not let succumb to hatred, but to give us a chance to practice and strengthen our believes.

MommyLove, Jen

Tandem nursing #1: A victorious day 

I have been tandem nursing since the day my second baby was born. 

Heck, days were not easy as it seems to be!

A victorious day is always a day where both the babies get to fall asleep at the same time, by myself and I get an hour of peace. All to myself. That feeling, is precious. That solitude, is precious too. 

These days are as rare as tanzanite. By far, I only have twice of such a day in four months. The rests? They are either, hair pulling, stressful, depressed, overtired – you name it. One pair of hands, two kiddos, in the same room is no joke. Especially when my toddler is a constant chatter.

The push factor to keep doing despite the mega level of stress – the bonding I get with them, the bonding I get between them. It is when they hold hands to sleep together I feel all pain, tiredness and exhaustion melts away with my heart to be replaced with a smile.

Sometimes, it is just that 30 minutes of peace and stillness that I need to rewire and flex myself back to sanity. A chance to shut my eyes and watch my breathing. 

How was it accomplished?

1. Make sure little sister is in deep sleep.

2. Let little pistachio plays on her own / with you while getting the younger sister into the deep sleep state. 

3. Once little sister is in deep sleep, get the elder one to sleep as quickly as possible. 

That’s it. Now i can sleep too.

Zzz

MommyLove, Jen

Perks of motherhood #1

A three month old baby just had a poopolsion. You quickly grabbed the wet wipes and diaper caddy. As you frantically trying to keep all the poos within the cleanable range, somehow some will find its way out of the diaper. You kept pulling the wet wipes and clean as much as you can, and opps, last piece. Damn.

You reached out to the diaper caddy and there, last five pieces. You took one and left four sitting there. Two more days before you have the time to go for grocery shopping. You have an important meeting at work tomorrow. Oh great. You knew a week ago that you need to get your supplies replenished. Yet, being so hands full and work piling, you thought you could wait. Now it is too late.

Have you ever get caught in such a situation? Yes I do. I stay in a small town and I used to travel to the nearby shop to get, only when my supplies run ultra low. I dont stock them as it takes up space and makes my house looks like a warehouse. 

Ever since the creation of e-commerce, it never happen anymore. The solution: online shopping!

Who agrees that online shopping is one of the best creation? Me

It literally saved me a whole lot of hassle and time and frustration and stress and backache carrying a baby and dragging a toddler to shop alone – the list goes on.

As easy as a click, you get all you need, delivered directly to your doorstep. Milk, diaper, breastmilk storage bags, wet wipes – you named it. You dont even need to change your clothes. You can literally do it while you poop! 

Having that said, shopping at a reliable and trustworthy websites is of utmost important. You do not get to touch or feel the things before you buy. You rely fully on the trust of the seller to give you the best quality. What if they dont? It is going to be a heachache and extra cost to do an exchange or a refund. Well, you dont want that to happen. Especially when online shopping is meant to ease our burden.

I am very careful with where I shop. I only shop at a genuine store and has high payment security in place. Once I shopped at a shaddy website, obviously lured by great products and offers, I ended up calling the Visa Call Centre to get my card revoked and worried for the rest of the night. Or weeks. 

So, dear mummies especially, while you frantically googled to find the best websites to purchase your items, check properly! 

One of my Favourite Shopping Place haha..

This is my favourite online place to shop for baby products. Simple, plenty of choices, fast and accurate. Well, you can go ahead and try. Trust me, you will fall in love with it. 

MommyLove, Jen

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