Life Lessons #1: Right and WronG

At noon, before lunch, i was chatting with Little Pistachio.

Did you play with gor gor? 

Nodded quietly.

What did gor gor play with you?

Gor gor played messily (乱乱玩)

Did you play with jie jie?

Nodded quietly.

What did jie jie play with you?

Jie jie played messily. (乱乱玩)。Jie jie pushed me (推我)。 Jie jie snatched the toys i was playing (抢我玩具)

Looking sad, she sat on a child-sized rattan chair and played with her lego-made-fan she built earlier. 

These were the words uttered by a 2years 2months 21days child.

Little Pistachio, was obviously being bullied by the 8years old gor gor and her 6years old jie jie.

In the evening, daddy was home.

As usual, the big gor gor jie jie was playing rough. Jie jie was hopping around like a frog. Gor gor was smashing down the jenga tiles over and over again.

Little Pistachio, stood there, stared at them, then looked at daddy. 

Daddy shook his head.

Dear girl, you don’t play rough like them. That is not right. 

Little Pistachio, still quietly looking, said gor gor jie jie luan luan wan.

Old Granpa, who was sitting there resting, stood up and started scolding the gor gor jie jie when the noise went up to an unbearable decibles.

Stop it! That is not how you play! 

Dear girl, see how granpa is scolding them?

That is not the way to play. We don’t throw and smash things. We don’t jump and hop around aimlessly.

Little Pistachio walked away, still uttering luan luan wan.

Even a 2 year old knows what is right and what is wrong, who to mix with and who not to mix with.

Mommy will be less worried to let you attend kindy soon.

I am proud of you, dear girl.

MommyLove, Jen

Success Story #1: Staying dry throughout the day.

2years 2months 21days.

Little Pistachio has successfully remain dry for the day. 

Yeap. 

Two days ago, she said she wants to pee. She went into the bathroom on her own, and came out after a minute.

Her pants were off. But the drypantz was still intact.

Obviously she has been trying to take off her diaper pants but failed miserably because it was too tight! 

Yes, we ran out of size. XXL is the biggest size available in the market. 

Yes, mummy has been searching high and low to get a bigger size for you, my dear. Sorry for keeping you so uncomfortable and tight in those undersized drypantz.

I took off her heavily wet diaper pants and she ran to her pee pot. 

After she was done, I asked “Little Pistachio, do you still want to wear the diaper drypantz or would you prefer a plain undies?” while showing her each of the options.

She pointed at the plain undies. 

“So you promise to use the pee pot to pee ok? No more wet pants ya. You already know how to take off your pants. Now you can learn to be dry by day. Clever girl” 

And so, today is her third day of N number of cycles of training – She started refusing diaper since 9months. Diaper poo free since then.

I hope this round will be successful. 

MommyLove, Jen

Reflection #1: Self reliasation

Regardless how poorly people treat us there is no reason to hold grudge and return them with hatred. It always require wisdom to be the bigger person and forgive them no matter what they did or did not do. 

I believe for every difficulty or challenges that happen in our lives, takes place for a good reason. It gives us a chance for us to fine tune our defilements and reflect to improve ourselves. 

Reflection of the Dhamapada

Verse 1. Suffering Follows The Evil-Doer

Mind precedes all knowables,
mind’s their chief, mind-made are they.
If with a corrupted mind
one should either speak or act
dukkha follows caused by that,
as does the wheel the ox’s hoof.

Explanation: All that we experience begins with thought. Our words and deeds spring from thought. If we speak or act with evil thoughts, unpleasant circumstances and experiences inevitably result. Wherever we go, we create bad circumstances because we carry bad thoughts. This is very much like the wheel of a cart following the hoofs of the ox yoked to the cart. The cart-wheel, along with the heavy load of the cart, keeps following the draught oxen. The animal is bound to this heavy load and cannot leave it.

Verse 2. Happiness Follows The Doer of Good

Mind precedes all knowables,
mind’s their chief, mind-made are they.
If with a clear, and confident mind
one should speak and act 
as one’s shadow ne’er departing.

Explanation: All that man experiences springs out of his thoughts. If his thoughts are good, the words and the deeds will also be good. The result of good thoughts , words and deeds will be happiness. This happiness will never leave the person whose thoughts are good. Happiness will always follow him like his shadow that never leaves him.

Verse 3. Uncontrolled Hatred Leads to Harm

Who bears within them enmity:
“He has abused and beaten me,
defeated me and plundered me”,
hate is not allayed for them.

Explanation: When a person holds that he was insulted, assaulted, defeated, or robbed, his anger continues to increase. The anger such a person has no way of subsiding. The more he goes over his imaginary trouble the greater becomes his desire to avenge it.


Verse 4. Overcoming Anger

Who bears within no enmity:
“He has abused and beaten me,
defeated me and plundered me”,
hate is quite allayed for them.

Explanation:  Living in human society, people often quarrel with one another. When such conflicts occur, people often keep thinking about the wrongs done to them by others. When that happens, their anger tends to grow. But in those who forgive and forget the wrongs done to them, anger quickly vanishes. They are then at peace.


Verse 5. Hatred is Overcome Only by Non-hatred

Never here by enmity
are those with enmity allayed,
they are allayed by amity,
this is the timeless Truth.

Explanation: Those who attempt to conquer hatred by hatred are like warriors who take weapons to overcome others who bear arms. This does not end hatred, but gives it room to grow. But, ancient wisdom has advocated a different timeless strategy to overcome hatred. This eternal wisdom is to meet hatred with non-hatred. The method is of overcoming hatred through non-hatred is eternally effective. That is why that method is described as eternal wisdom.

Encountering such people should not let succumb to hatred, but to give us a chance to practice and strengthen our believes.

MommyLove, Jen

Tandem nursing #1: A victorious day 

I have been tandem nursing since the day my second baby was born. 

Heck, days were not easy as it seems to be!

A victorious day is always a day where both the babies get to fall asleep at the same time, by myself and I get an hour of peace. All to myself. That feeling, is precious. That solitude, is precious too. 

These days are as rare as tanzanite. By far, I only have twice of such a day in four months. The rests? They are either, hair pulling, stressful, depressed, overtired – you name it. One pair of hands, two kiddos, in the same room is no joke. Especially when my toddler is a constant chatter.

The push factor to keep doing despite the mega level of stress – the bonding I get with them, the bonding I get between them. It is when they hold hands to sleep together I feel all pain, tiredness and exhaustion melts away with my heart to be replaced with a smile.

Sometimes, it is just that 30 minutes of peace and stillness that I need to rewire and flex myself back to sanity. A chance to shut my eyes and watch my breathing. 

How was it accomplished?

1. Make sure little sister is in deep sleep.

2. Let little pistachio plays on her own / with you while getting the younger sister into the deep sleep state. 

3. Once little sister is in deep sleep, get the elder one to sleep as quickly as possible. 

That’s it. Now i can sleep too.

Zzz

MommyLove, Jen

Perks of motherhood #1

A three month old baby just had a poopolsion. You quickly grabbed the wet wipes and diaper caddy. As you frantically trying to keep all the poos within the cleanable range, somehow some will find its way out of the diaper. You kept pulling the wet wipes and clean as much as you can, and opps, last piece. Damn.

You reached out to the diaper caddy and there, last five pieces. You took one and left four sitting there. Two more days before you have the time to go for grocery shopping. You have an important meeting at work tomorrow. Oh great. You knew a week ago that you need to get your supplies replenished. Yet, being so hands full and work piling, you thought you could wait. Now it is too late.

Have you ever get caught in such a situation? Yes I do. I stay in a small town and I used to travel to the nearby shop to get, only when my supplies run ultra low. I dont stock them as it takes up space and makes my house looks like a warehouse. 

Ever since the creation of e-commerce, it never happen anymore. The solution: online shopping!

Who agrees that online shopping is one of the best creation? Me

It literally saved me a whole lot of hassle and time and frustration and stress and backache carrying a baby and dragging a toddler to shop alone – the list goes on.

As easy as a click, you get all you need, delivered directly to your doorstep. Milk, diaper, breastmilk storage bags, wet wipes – you named it. You dont even need to change your clothes. You can literally do it while you poop! 

Having that said, shopping at a reliable and trustworthy websites is of utmost important. You do not get to touch or feel the things before you buy. You rely fully on the trust of the seller to give you the best quality. What if they dont? It is going to be a heachache and extra cost to do an exchange or a refund. Well, you dont want that to happen. Especially when online shopping is meant to ease our burden.

I am very careful with where I shop. I only shop at a genuine store and has high payment security in place. Once I shopped at a shaddy website, obviously lured by great products and offers, I ended up calling the Visa Call Centre to get my card revoked and worried for the rest of the night. Or weeks. 

So, dear mummies especially, while you frantically googled to find the best websites to purchase your items, check properly! 

One of my Favourite Shopping Place haha..

This is my favourite online place to shop for baby products. Simple, plenty of choices, fast and accurate. Well, you can go ahead and try. Trust me, you will fall in love with it. 

MommyLove, Jen

Overwhelmed!

One of the days I felt like I am being stretched till the breaking point. Stretch further and I’ll snap.

I need a break.

I need a vacation.

I need a retreat.

I need space.

I need to relax to regain my stretchability.

I need enthusiam.

I need positivity.

I need optimism.

I need creativity.

I need great ideas.

I need kindness.

I need generosity.

I need love.

I need care.

I need laughters.

I need honest communication.

I need beautiful things.

I need to purify my thoughts.

I need to purify my mind.

I need to purify my heart.

I need a complete makeover.

P.s: I need a better haircut. I just had a haircut, and it makes me feel worse than before. Gosh. It is supposed to make me feel better.

How to feed medicine to a toddler without any fuss?

This is one of the nightmares that fears both the kids and parents. Some says force it down the throat.  Some says tie them under the thighs and force it down. Some scares the kid. Do we really have to do this? Does the medicine feeding process be so traumatising to both kiddos and parents? 

Little pistachio rarely falls sick. The major fever was when she had her one year old vaccination jab.  The other time was mommy accidentally dozed off before putting on her pyjamas and covering her with blankets. By the time mommy woke up in shock in the middle of the night,  little pistachio has already fell asleep for more than 5 hours at temperature less than 20°C, half naked. 

Personally I don’t like taking or giving medicine to anyone. Yet,  as a pharmacist, when there is a need to do so,  we shall duly comply, regardless.

How then,  to serve the medicine to a toddler, without much fuss? 

My method is just two simple steps:

1. Make the medicine feeding process as fun and enjoyable as possible. 

2. Involve the kid. Let them do it themselves. 

A toddler should be able to use the syringe by themselves. Or if they still haven’t mastered the syringing process,  guide them or do it together with them.  They love it. 

Follow these steps to a fuss free medicine feeding / serving to a toddler. 

1. Before you feed them medicine:

💉 INTRODUCE the medicine to the toddler. 

 They will be very curious about anything new.  So the introduction is very important. Tell them what is the indication of the medicine. How it can help them.   Nobody likes being forced to take something unusual not knowing the content and purpose of doing so.  

2. During the feeding session:

💉 SHOW them how to syringe out the medicine. If they knew already,  let them do it themselves. 

💉 TELL them the taste of the medicine.  Usually kids syrup has flavouring to mask the bitterness of the medicine.  Depends on the color of the medicine, tell them whether it tastes like raspberry,  apple or any taste they like in particular. 

💉 Most important is never,  ever force it down their throat.  Nobody likes that,  do you?  Never ever traumatise them in the process of feeding.  Never ever scare them with beating or scoldings. Never ever threaten them by taking away their favourites. BIG NO! 

3. After feeding the medicine: 

💉 SMILE! show them how pleased you are that they are one step nearer to recovery. 

💉 PRAISE them for their efforts and courage. 

💉 REINFORCE the benefits of the medicine. Let them know the medicine will make them feel more comfortable and well. 

💉 If they behave really well and satisfying,  you can reward them with their favourite drink or food. Or just a simple cuddle and kiss will do. Kids are very easy to handle.😍

It is of utmost importance to begin the process with a loving and caring manner and tone. A happy tone of voice. 

Once they sense any anger or unpleasant feeling,  you are jeopardising the whole process.  The negative impact can last either just through your the current cycle of sickness OR if you have badly traumatized your kiddo, it might last a lifetime.  You decide.  

Little pistachio will ask for her medicine when the time is up. Inform us that she is unwell. Syringe out her own medicine and feed it into her mouth on her own. Absolutely no forcing.  In fact she enjoys it alot.  I just have to be there to make sure she syringe out the correct amount to avoid overdose or underdose. 

Here’s a video of little pistachio taking her own medicine at 1 year old 8 months: 

Good luck mommies! 

MummyLove,  Jen😊

Should we pump during our first month of breastfeeding?

This is a question that is frequently being asked especially for new mommies.

There is no quick and fast rule for this. It all depends on your condition and circumstances.

If your baby is in NICU, incubator etc, how would you be able to direct feed? So, consider yourself lucky if you are able to carry your baby in your arms and fully seize the opportunity to bond with your baby through direct breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding by definition is to nurse a baby at the breast.

It means directly feeding your baby at your breast, by letting him/her to latch at your nipple.

This is the best practice.

If you are one of those who are lucky enough to be able to latch your baby directly, please continue to do so.

You do not have to pump during the first month. Why?

1. COLOSTRUM
During day 1, colostrum that contains significant amount of antibiotic is present. This is one of the most important foundation for your baby’s immune system. Your baby’s strong immune system also translate to an easier upbringing in their later life as they will not fall sick as easily compared to those who did not receive the colostrum. Good news for mommies. 🙂

2. STOMACH SIZE
The stomach size of a newborn is as tiny as a cherry. It can only hold 5-7ml of milk each time. During the first 2-3 days, the stomach of the baby does not stretch. Anything more, baby will just vomit it out, causing a mess for you and baby. By 3-5 days, the stomach will start to expand. This is when your milk will start to kick in. With frequent feedings, your supply will increase correlating to the amount your baby’s tummy can hold. Usually by 7th day, it can hold 30-59ml per feeding, roughly
280-567ml (10-19oz) per day. By 2nd-3rd week, 59-89ml per feeding and baby is taking 591-750ml (20-25oz) per day. By 4th-5th week, baby is able to take in 89-118ml per feeding and total about
750-1035ml (25-35oz) per day. By the end of first month, your production will be as much as your baby will ever need.

Is-Your-Newborn-Baby-Getting-Enough-Milk-NO-text

Should you be pressured on the frequent feedings and suggesting that your supply is not sufficient, this information will help them understand, on baby’s schedule, is exactly what your baby’s tummy and your supply needs.

3. YOUR SUPPLY
The production of your milk is directly proportionate to the suckling of your baby. The more you allow your baby to suckle,
the quicker your milk will kick in, the more milk you’ll get.

4. YOUR SANITY
Baby suckles not just for milk, but also for warmth, comfort and love. During the first month, they are still in a shock being out of the warm and cuddly uterus. Most of the time, baby will continue to suckle even after they are full just for the comfort. When they feel loved, secured and safe, usually they will cry lesser, or even not cry at all. Babies cry only for a few reasons. Hunger, discomfort, insecurity. When they cry lesser, you will feel more relaxed, and production will automatically be more.

5. YOUR CONFIDENCE
Trying to pump during the first month will only shake off your confidence as a new mommy. Your pump yield will definitely be little if you have direct fed your baby before you pump. It will be fruitless trying to compare your yield with other mommies due to differences in circumstances. If they had not direct fed their baby, definitely their yield will be better.

6. FEED YOUR BABY, NOT YOUR FREEZER
That says it all. Feed your baby, not the freezer. As long as your baby is full, satisfied, feel safe in your arms, that are all that matters. It does not make sense having a fridge / freezer full of expressed breastmilk filled to the brim to show off if your baby is crying, vomiting, or feeling insecured.

7. BABY’S PSYCHOLOGY
Babies who feels safe and secured during their early days, cry less, feels more confident and this translates to less tantrums and a more lovable baby in the future. Good news for mommies. 🙂

8. CONCLUSION
Direct feed, whenever possible. Should circumstances do not allow, then pump. Switch back to direct feed once circumstances allow. Babies have natural instinct to latch on your nipple. It is the mother to find out / learn the correct technique, position of holding the baby, bundled with lots of persistence and determination that makes breastfeeding successful. If you bump into an obstacle, do seek help.

Well, that’s it. I hope you got the answer. Keep calm and enjoy breastfeeding! ☺

The feeling of your baby cradling in your arms, are the best feeling as a mother. -MommyLove, Jen-

💜

References:
1. La Leche League Canada. Thursday Tip: Newborns have small stomachs! 2015 May 21.

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FREE tickets to Millionaire Mind Intensive Malaysia 2013

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